Monday, May 17, 2010
{ 9:59 PM }
We have certain times when we look into the mirror and we see ourselves, and yet at certain times we don't. We see a split image of what others want us to be. If we truly be ourselves, would the world except us for who really are and look on our strengths instead of our weakness and judge us fairly with our achievements and accomplishments instead of our faults and failures? Would other sacrifices worth more than some that have not been sacrificed? Would being anal about everything bring about a more pleasant outcome or result? Thoughts i wish i knew the answer for but i don't. I used to though... things change i guess?
Yeah and its great you know seeing you after so long, i mean you've changed( i've heard) for the better ( I hope). And still bright and cheerful and living life as colorful as it should be and i'm glad you do. Everything that happen was not exactly a total loss for me, I gained new insights and attained new knowledge and somehow learn that some things in life is unpredictable and if it just can't happen it can't, we just gotta let it happen when it does. And not just by saying it, and really allowing life to fit you in its plans. Everything is alright for me now, even though there are significant difference in our frequency, I do hope I am able to find a common ground to take it to a whole new level that can help my relationship grow. But what ever it is, I know, if the worst comes I am prepared with no hard feelings =)
P.S. You gotta stop speaking in korean, or i'm gonna sapit onto thy face.. MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
{ 9:40 PM }
This post has no picture at the moment but it will be updated soon.
I hate this feeling when you have someone so caring , who brings the other side of life that you thought you could never see and makes you feel a thousand times better that the shitty feeling that you had before. Because at the end of the day, its gone, not by any mistakes or human error but by the work of nature. It's a soft and sweet departure and i do not know if that would stay as it is or the sweetness would return inevitably. I do hope that it does and I'll do my best to guide and nurture the path to be that way. Back at one again, feeling the emptiness and disappointment in life. Just down... still down.
My road leads me to an empty space with no greens and colors of the pasture, only clouds of fog and lines that defines the shapes of shadows drifting past me. It seems like a thousand miles of unending tedious travel to a place of solace and yet, I continue to do so. Always asked myself the reasons for persevering, Hope? Faith? or plain Stupidity? The drawing power seems overpowering and irresistible at times. I tried to fight it, embrace it but nothing works... The suspense is killing me.
Monday, March 01, 2010
{ 9:53 PM }
A walk in the forest where you had this feeling you've been here before but you just can't seem to remember. The mist was thick and stretched far and wide throughout the woods. The atmosphere seemed demeaning, but the air was soothing to the lungs. The roots of the trees reached out from the ground , as if they were calling out to me. The autumn leaves fall gracefully and lands perfectly spaced from one another. This is a spooky yet consoling experience that makes life even more suspended.
Wounds of the past might heal, but the certain memories that haunted you before could very well do the same now. We all have our demons and darkness of the past, a hole we dug for a ourselves and yet its the same hole we do not like being in, but all that is important is that we find our way home amongst the mist and the fog that might hinder our sight and lead us off our intended track. How is that possibly done? Would be choices we make along the way.
Being lost is not an embarrassment, Not being found is. =)
Here's a song I feel very much connected to , HAHA! Enjoy =)
Rise Above ThisSeetherTake the light, undarken everything around me
Call the clowns and listen closely, i'm lost without you
Call your name every day when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Hate the mind, regrets are better left unspoken
For all we know, this void will grow and
Everything's in vain, distressing you though it leaves me open
Feels so right, but i'll end this all before it gets me
Call your name every day, when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Call your name every day, when i seem so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this doubt
I'll mend myself before it gets me
(i'll mend myself before it gets me)
I'll mend myself before it gets me
(i'll mend myself before it gets me)
Call your name every day, when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Call your name every day, when i seem so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Forty eight ways to say that i'm feelin' helpless
Fallin' down, fallin down', but i'll rise above this, rise above this
We have certain times when we look into the mirror and we see ourselves, and yet at certain times we don't. We see a split image of what others want us to be. If we truly be ourselves, would the world except us for who really are and look on our strengths instead of our weakness and judge us fairly with our achievements and accomplishments instead of our faults and failures? Would other sacrifices worth more than some that have not been sacrificed? Would being anal about everything bring about a more pleasant outcome or result? Thoughts i wish i knew the answer for but i don't. I used to though... things change i guess?
I just love the way she hugs and kiss me and tell me that she loves me, its different though this time it seems to get better than before and everyday seems to pose a new challenge for me. I have waited for a very long time which seems like years even though its barely just months or a month before he flew back here. I mean, it could have taken her half a year or so to get here but who'd guessed it, plans from the man upstairs? Whichever it is, i'm just so glad she's here to be able to do things now together here and also get to do more things in days to come. I feel alive again, even besides the fact that i do not have my usual " intake" anymore. It is for the better and hopefully i can pull through, at least to control my urge. =) Love you so much sweetie!
Hey there again... It's been awhile. But during this period, life seems to have outdone itself. The wonders of life starts to appear again and i realize that, the longer you keep yourself on the path that has so far gotten you nowhere, the longer it takes for you to feel the bright side of life trying its very best to fulfill its role but cant penetrate the barricade you create for yourself. Sometimes we all have to stop and ask ourselves, could it be that everyone has a problem but myself? Or is it myself that is a problem costing everyone? The sooner we realize the spark or the cause, the sooner we are able to move on from there and search for more grace given. I always believe, " Learn to live and let live". Do not keep yourself tied to a rope so rough when you know you aren't a person of that material. I love my sweet " Bun" and really cant wait for her return =)